..preferably with a car plate that screams CDM 25(note: a White Peugeot 208, optional), with a steering lock. AND possibly with a rather bad temper.
Just in case you need some demonstration:
Yes. I am so sorry you have to come across this piece of news literally everywhere you go on the social media and now my blog too.
I, for one, have absolutely no idea that this is going to happen. But seeing all these negative things crawling all over my laptop, I can’t help but, you know, put in some positive things in the midst of all these negativity.
They said, there’s always a silver lining to every cloud, right? Whatever.
So, I came across with a blogpost earlier this morning on 6 Scary things that CDM25 has taught us. Still a piece leaning towards the negative side. Thus here is something more enlightening to the whole situation, whatsoever.
Here is a list of 5 amazing things the owner of CDM 25 had achieved, that you probably want to learn something from it.
1. You gain INSTANT fame with MINIMUM effort.
You know how hard some people try just to be famous? Not to the extent of entering the hall of fame but famous enough to be the topic of even just a day? Some people made videos, some people made sex tapes. Some people trained all their life, or even, you know, run around the city naked? Yea. That sort of things.
And if you google How to be famous or How to gain instant fame, there is bound to be millions of lists or How-tos teaching you. But thousand thanks to technologies nowadays, you can gain instant fame, yes, INSTANT fame just by being outrageous enough. Fastest way is non other than bullying the shit out of an elderly that is so helplesss. (refer video for demonstration)
2. Gain public interest.
Fame alone is not your style? Fret not. Fret not. I understand that fame alone doesn’t last. Rising to the level of possessing public interest is the key to the throne of glamorous life. Do you think it’s easy to have reporters running after you or radio stations fighting over you? You need to possess a satisfying amount of public interest in order for that to happen.
No, you don’t need to be a famous stunt actor. You don’t have to work your ass off as an athlete either, nor a footballer, those are too mainstream. Just get your ass out there and bully some uncle who unintentionally scratched your car. Oh, remember to have the whole process recorded down.
With that, you’ll become a person of public interest. Every single thing you said or say or post or tweet or shit, the whole world will pawn it before you can finish saying banana. That’s a breathless life of a world class celebrity! Phew, not that hard to gain, though.
3. A boost of self-esteem.
You know that saying; haters gonna hate? People hates you, the internet hates you, the whole friggin world hates you because of one simple reason; they’re jealous of how awesome you are.
Man, who wouldn’t be flattered if you’ve got so much haters? It reflects how awesome you are, yes? Increase of traffics to your page. Increase of numbers of reach out effortlessly!
4. Interview with top local radio stations.
Erh. Ma. Gawd. Say WHAAAAT? Yes. A radio station interview. No, scratch that. A handful of radio station interviews. Who knows, possibly television interviews, too? Wait, I think that too.
But, hell yes! And you guess it right, just have to be a road bully and you’ll land yourself an interview in famous radio stations that some people had to make countless calls, connections and whatnots to maybe only gain a 10-20 minutes of exposure. No joke. #OnlyinMalaysia though, I think.
5. Free 24/7 car security system(huge bonus!*gasp*)
Never mind those expensive satellite car safety system or cheapskate steering lock to keep your car safe from car thieves and car snatchers.
Again, bully someone on the road, get it caught on camera, pray for it to go viral and kaboom! Everyone recognises your car and car plate. Who dare to steal your car or snatch your car some more, you tell me.
Even if you really lost your car, no problem tracking it down now that all across the nation, not one single soul doesn’t know your car.
Amazing things, aren’t these? A list of things that countless of people probably not able to achieve in their entire life time and just in one night; Bucket list, all checked!
Yes, I am exploiting this whole incident to gain traffic, omaigod, jumping up the bandwagon, omaigod, just like any other famous blogger wannabe, omaigod. Sue me.
Mich*Footnote: If you take this whole post seriously, I don’t know. Perhaps a moment of silence for the loss of a sense of lame humour. Here is my personal thought on the whole Kiki CDM 25 drama: Like what Timothy Tiah said in his blogpost, this incident really taught us a lot. And just like him, initially, I really did not give a damn about all those videos spamming my Facebook newsfeed. But then, with enough of friends sharing and news site gradually mentioning #CDM25, too, I gave in and watched the video. My reaction was; Holy shit! I did not gave much comment, rather enjoying reading comments instead. But being a normal human being, I felt sad and scared for the uncle. At some point in the merely 2 minutes plus short clip, I held my breath, horror-struck, and thought; Oh god, is she going to hit the uncle? And her last words as the video ended abruptly was the greatest disappointment I felt towards her throughout the whole incident. All assumptions aside, I asked myself; What does it take to provoke me into such state? What makes me screaming irrationally and hysterically at an elderly in a public place? I have been driven into a state where I started screaming hysterically at my family members during quarrels or whatnots, when I was really, really, really young. Undeniably, when you are enraged, you have the urge to scream at people and also the desire to inflict pain towards the other person who hurt you, your love ones or well, in this case, things you love. And that is where anger management comes in. I looked at the whole thing without too much of a note of judgement apart from feeling really sorry for the uncle and a little bit speechless for the woman’s behaviour. But, like everyone else, I was moved by the uncle’s kindness of not pressing any charges against her and condone all the things she did to him. (Honestly speaking, if that were to happened to any of my family member, I highly doubt I will remain so calm and forgiving. Watching the video alone was humiliating enough.) And then she apologised, towards the uncle that she humiliated, sincere or not, that is not for me to question. But personally, I think she owes the public a proper apology. Whatever she did that went viral had in fact, set a very bad example to the public. Not to mention damaging the image of Malaysians. It is Facebook and YouTube we are talking about. Available to the whole wide world. Also, personally, again, I think it is only appropriate to leave the video on the social media sites. It very well serves as a reminder to the her to mind her actions and also to the world to watch your steps. Because, literally, the whole world is watching you. Just when I thought the drama ends here, the largest disappointment dropped as a bomb to me this morning when Hitz.fm announced that they are going to interview the woman involved in this incident. I honestly thought that there would have been a limit as to how disappointing our local medias could be. How wrong I was. Highly filtered news, manipulated news and dishonest news is merely not enough. Seems like our media has decided to take it to another level. I could not fathom what are the messages that you intent to bring to the people by interviewing a road bully(I am sorry to label her as such, but fact is, it’s a fact.) I mean come on, even you titles highlighted that it is an interview with a road bully to hear her side of the story. Whatever she did was considered civil crime, no? She threatened another citizen with a harmful weapon. She damaged another citizen’s property. She has committed a crime and then at the end of the day, she landed an interview so that she could justify her behaviour and wrong-doings? And what could be the intentions behind these radio stations that interviewed her? A free publicity? Boost of ratings? Really? What happened to “Together with Hitz, say no to road bullies?” Yes. She deserves a second chance, no one denies it. But is inviting her to your radio station for a nationwide broadcast a part of giving her a second chance? A second chance can come in many ways but definitely not helping her to rise to further fame. I mean; WHAT. IS. THE. POINT?! Is there a need to increase her rate of exposure when thousands of other people’s voice who needs help needed to be heard? At the end of this long footnote, you might label me as a hypocrite saying I am doing the same thing; taking the advantage of this incident to gain readership. Your freedom of speech or accusation will not be denied. So, don’t you deny me my freedom of expressing my thoughts, in my own ways.