Silly wound.

I remember when I was younger, I used to hurt myself pretty easily. I’ve got bruises here and there and if you ignore them, they simply disappear.

And then, there was this once where it was a bad fall. It must have been a really bad fall and I wounded myself in the process. My younger self was terrified and happily accepted the first plaster offered thinking it will solve everything, a good cover for that bloody wound too. And for some unfathomable reasons (perhaps in fear of getting scolded for running around), I kept it from my mom. When you were a kid, getting scolded by your mom eventually overrule the possibility that your wound will get infected and you’d probably develop some fatal reaction from it whatsoever. And of course, the shame of falling down.

Well, getting back at the plaster, yes, I thought it would have magically healed the wound but no, in a few washes, the bandage wears off and sadly, you have to tear it off revealing the freshly inflamed wound. Simply because the plaster wrapped itself too tightly around the wound, no space nor time for the wound to even start healing. But because the plaster covered that ugly wound, for the shortest of time, I forgot the pain and even perhaps the existence of that fresh wound.

But then again, you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there. And definitely doesn’t mean you never fell. So when I realize how the wound itself is wearing off the bandage, I had to peel it off.

It’s when you realize, not all wounds or bruises are going to heal if you cover it up or ignore it. It probably takes your mind off it temporarily, the pain is still lying resilient in the depth of the wound. Covering it with some bandages just won’t heal, stop the bleeding maybe, but if you leave it there too long, it’s only making your wound worse. So I peeled it off, get the wound cleaned and let nature takes its course.

But when I say let nature takes its course, it doesn’t simply mean ignore your wound and let it heal itself. Because the next thing you know, flies or whatnot are probably going to drop by and have fun infecting your wound. Nature WILL take its course and your wound will of course heal, but with one condition, you’ve got to keep it clean.

Funny how the need to get away from the pain a wound causes overrules the importance of healing a wound all the time. How pathetically fragile our souls are when it comes to enduring pain. How readily we are in succumbing to the numbness rather than fighting the pain face on. Because our minds are somehow programmed into thinking that enduring pain is unnecessary.

And wouldn’t you want to know if you’re taking drugs just to get rid of the pain life is giving you OR really just for the sense of pure pleasure? If I were the drugs you’re taking, I’d like to know what your addiction to me means; am I just a shield from your pain or am I simply in your system because you enjoy the presence of me.

And there is only one way to find out.




Fifth of May

Fifth of May marks the darkest day in the hearts of most Malaysians. Everyone that had hoped to wake up to a better tomorrow witnessed how things from looking positive started going downhill most probably because He-Who-Should-Not-be-Named decided to reveal himself to us, Muggles after all.

I couldn’t help but be reminded of how coincidentally in Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy has this artefact; Hands of Glory that plays a similar trick that our nation has witnessed last night, almost today.

A wave of sorrow clouded social sites what with everyone being so disappointed and, really? Shocked? I myself woke up this morning thinking: “Please, last night did not just happened.” I can hardly scroll down my Facebook news feed without a pang of sadness washing over me looking at those posts.

But then again, come to think of it, yes our hopes were high-and they hopefully still are-but deep down, weren’t we expecting this to happen? Well maybe did not expect Draco Malfoy to involve his Hands of Glory, but still, we knew it will happen, this way or that.  Reality is, no one plays fair to win. It is not a matter of winning fair and square but simply a matter of winning to not lose. Because changes just don’t just come as easily as we all naively hoped.

How long it took to really free Malaysia from colonization? And well, admit it, the rakyats have only risen to ask for a change in recent years. Improvements were dramatic enough in the past two general elections and it ought to be enough to keep everyone fighting for real democracy.

Indeed, democracy was brutally murdered. We ought to mourn for the death of it, but what comes next? It’s moving on because life still goes on whether you like it or not.

In the midst of darkness and filthiness, there are lights coming on, fire continues to simmer.

There are bright sides that can be taken from this so-called dirtiest election. First of all, it ought to serve as a warning. No longer a wake up, the 12th General Election was a wake up call but now, a warning ringing out loud at the ruling party. The rakyats are watching each and every one of your step ever so closely. As for the rakyats, this is a wake up call! Through this election, it further convince the people about who deserves to be trusted and forcing the people to be more determined to fight for a change.

Yes, the change we wanted did not happen this time. But it doesn’t mean it will never happen. If it takes another century or more, so be it. Our generation will live to see it happen even if it means that we might have to go through more dirty unfair failures in coming elections. Even if it means that we will have no teeth to grit by then.

For now, it’s time to move on. To start small by stop judging. Stop being racist. Stop acting like you have nothing to do with this country. Stop being irresponsible. Every little effort counts, but we definitely do not stop fighting despite what happened on 5th of May 2013.

Recalling and refreshing a slogan we held to throughout form six; Success is a journey, not a destination. So is democracy.

Someone on Facebook said:

Democracy don’t just happen overnight, it is a journey that requires much faith, patience and determination.

Another 5 years we shall wait where those who were muted by their age will rise and meet those who are fighting for a greater battle. Sorcerers in Malaysia, brace yourselves, a come back is always stronger than its previous attempt.

As for now..

Be the change you want to see in the world.

-Mahatma Ghandi