I remember that night, I think it was the first night in Langkawi. After a long day exploring like the excited kids like we were, I finally whipped out my phone to check it and saw miss calls from him. Being used to the adrenaline rush during the term, I literally screamed and said “Oh shit, oh shit. What happened this time, what happened?” I asked Jivitha if she got his call too.
Yes, that was how it felt towards the end of the term. When you receive calls from your President, you panic and you’d dive into that frantic debate whether should you or should you not answer the call. But then I figure it’s ridiculous, so I gave him a call back.
The first thing he asked me was what will you be doing in October? I thought to myself; what kind of stupid question is that, how would I know. But when he dropped the bomb, I literally shouted YESSSS. And regretted for 0.05 seconds because I remember I promised another friend beforehand. All in all, honestly it was sort of like a dream come true. I know I’m dramatic but I’ve been granted license for it cause I’m a girl. Yes, double standards, sue me.
It was my official first facilitating experience and there were a lot of places that I should have and could have done better. However, bygones be bygone. I’m just grateful that I have been granted this opportunity to facilitate the first conference of newly recruited members of my very own entity. Amazingly, through this short encounter with the role of a facilitator, again, I got to know myself better. I never thought of myself as a socially awkward person, but I was in fact very awkward with a group of excited newbies.
It was a lot of mixed feelings. Almost a year ago, I was a delegate among the senior track, on the other side of the hall together with my team trying to be better. And then just a couple of days ago, I was sitting across the hall, looking at the group of people wearing the same red shirt that we used to wear, trying to be better. It felt weird in the beginning. As if this organisation is a rotator. Your position changes every year. Even the way you see things changes every year. And then it hit you suddenly, that it’s the vicious cycle. Someone else will be sitting at your place thinking about the same thing, feeling the same way next year too.
Working with a team of crazy and funny facilitators, there were laughters that made you roll on the floor hugging your aching stomach, and there were thought provoking ideas thrown at each other. I love this. Behind every smile, everyone has a different story. It reminded me why I love this place. It’s the best platform to learn about different stories, different thoughts and different experiences.
Like what I’ve shared with my group of delegates, being in my final year of studies, I constantly try to do more things, meet up with as much people as possible, simply because I know all these that I’m doing right now is a kind of luxury. That upon graduation, all these; “Because I want to” might not come by as easy anymore.
I’ve been thinking, in the short time span of two years from now, where will I end up being?
Hopefully a place where I’m happy.