Just realised that I haven’t updated my blog this month as I scrolled through my 100 days challenge on Instagram. It’s Day 97 today.
Scrolling through the photos that I religiously posted everyday despite the short of internet connection while I was away in a conference, I tend to ask myself quite often; Did this really made you happy that day?
Here’s the catch; there were some days that what I posted did not really reflected what made me happy or smile that day, but really, days like that, I’d reflect on something or realise something, which is as good as something that made me happy. So yeah. However, it dawned upon me that, honestly, I tend to maximise the detractors in my life rather than leveraging what I have to make myself happy. I don’t know, I have melancholic blood running my veins. It’s not something I could help.
Especially at times like this with several things eating at my brain. Imagine an empty house with all those space you could have to allow yourself be drowned in a world of your own summertime sadness. That’s craziness that fuels crazy ideas and thoughts. Even right now, in the midst of chit-chats of coffee addicts around me, all I could think of is just that-one-thing-that-you-don’t-want-to-know-is-what.
It’s unhealthy. And it took me this long to admit that it’s unhealthy. But just like any other addictions, you tend to go back again and again despite how damaging it is to you. Perhaps it’s time to check in for an emotional rehabilitation program.
After all, they said it gets better when you decided not to care, no?
It’s going to be fine.
Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
P/s: I know this is completely a trash post. I know I owe my blog a post on my trip to Philippines and the international conference. Ahh, too bad, life sucks for you, blog. I currently don’t have the mood yet.